Lecture 13 - Interpersonal Communication

• Basis of Interpersonal Communication
• Personality Types
  • Ways of classifying personalities
  • Reasons for doing so
  • Dangers of doing so
• Body Language
  • Why learn about body language?
  • Reading body language
  • When body language lets you down

Basis of Interpersonal Communication

• Relationships
  • Employer <-> employee
  • Parent <-> child
  • Teacher <-> Student
  • Colleagues
  • Strangers
  • Friends
  • Partners (in business, in love, in crime...)
  • ...?
• The relationship dictates certain things about the communication
  • Intimacy
  • Honesty
  • Formality
  • Language
  • ...?
• So what elements of a relationship are important?

Elements of relationships

• Nature
• Shared history
  • Expectations
  • Assumptions
  • Interpretation
• Individual history
  • All the above, but more error prone
• Duration
• Strength
• ...?

So what about personality?

Personality

• Like experience, personality influences
  • Reactions
  • Preferred approaches
  • Preferred medium
  • ...?
• So can we predict a person's response based on personality?
  • Personality type classifications: Myers Briggs, Keirsey, etc.
  • Do you know your own personality type?
  • Do you fit completely in one "box"?
  • Can you determine someone else's personality type accurately?
  • Does personality type infallibly predict behaviour?
• Then why study personality types?

Why study personality types?

• To be aware of different interpretations of behaviour - For example:
  • silence/unresponsiveness - shyness? arrogance? disdain? anger?
  • laughter - nervousness? mocking? teasing?
  • crying - disaster? relief of tension? happiness? misery?
  • ...?
• To become aware of different ways of handling situations
  • What would other people do in this situation?
  • What other ways are there to handle this?
  • How can I change my own instinctive responses?

What are the risks in studying personality types

• Assuming you can now predict behaviour
• Wrongly categorizing others
• Wrong categorizing yourself
• ...?

So what about body language?

Why learn about body language?

• Extra cues for interpreting behaviour
• Know what messages you're sending
• Modify the messages you send
  • Make it clear that you mean what you say
  • Control nervous habits - don't sabotage yourself
  • ...?
• Think about how you appear to others

So how do we read body language?

How do we read body language?

• Cautiously!
• Basics:
  • Facial expression
  • Stance
  • Eye contact
  • Hand position/behaviour
  • Relative position
  • Eye movement
  • ...?

When Body language lets you down

• Immediate message or habitual behaviour?
• Directed at whom?
• Caused by what?
  • Defensive or cold?
  • Upset or suffering from hay fever?
  • Bored or very tired?
• Cultural aspects of body language
  • Eyes downcast - shyness, or socially appropriate response?
  • Bowing - subservience or proper etiquette?
  • ...?