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Conflict Resolution - Basic Steps

• Take your time to respond
  • Don't be afraid to think before answering
  • Don't be pushed into something - ask for time to think it over
  • Find out as much as you can before committing yourself
• Stay focussed on your goals
• Think carefully about the arguments presented to you
  • Are they relevant?
  • Are they reasonable?
  • Are they accurate?
  • Are they your problem?

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Being Steamrollered

• Time pressure is a useful negotiating trick
  • You must buy this now
  • I can't make this offer tomorrow
  • You must decide now
• Always ask questions
  • Why do I have to buy it now?
  • Why can't you make this offer tomorrow?
  • Why do I have to decide now?
• Then pull apart the answers
  • Is it your problem, or theirs?
  • Is it simply a ploy to put you under pressure?
  • Why don't they want to give you time to think about it?
  • If someone doesn't want you to think about something, what does that mean?

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Being Sidetracked

• Focus on your goal
• Is the current argument relevant to it?
• Watch for red-herrings
  • Arguments that are not relevant, or only marginally relevant
  • But that are true
  • And hence hard to argue with
  • Especially things you care about
• The indispensable syndrome -
  • No-one else can do this job
  • No-one will do it as well as you do

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Pulling Rank

• When other arguments fail
• "Because I'm the boss"
• This is not the end of the argument
  • Where do you go from here?
  • If you are being treated unfairly, stand your ground
  • Appeal to someone more senior
  • Not necessarily more senior than your boss, but more senior than you
  • Ask around - have other people been treated this way?
  • How did they handle it?

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Avoiding Responsibility

• The Nuremberg defense - I'm only doing what I'm told
• Good cop/bad cop - "I want to help you, but X won't let me"
• Strategies:
  • Talk directly to the person in charge
  • Ask for reasons
  • Decide how important this is - because taking it further could lead to more conflict

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