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Traditionally, the final Computer Science and Software Engineering honours BBQ of the year is held immediately after the honours examiners' meeting. |
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"Officially", the results are
only released when they have been ratified by the Faculty.
Unofficially, students can be seen conversing with
supervisors to learn if they should be
"happy", "very happy" or "very very happy".
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An important part of the proceedings is the presentation of the awards, announced this year by Trevor Dix, deputy head of school (Clayton).
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The Coursework Award went to Krys D' (right). |
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The Project Award went to Leigh F' (left, centre). |
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The Overall Award, the dux, went to Paul H' (right). |
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The running was very close in 1999 with many strong contenders and, unusually, each of the three awards going to a different person.
The official awards were completely upstaged by the unofficial awards, presented by Krys D', on behalf of the honours students, to the honours students; here is a copy of her speech:
The first award is the coursework award. This goes to the person with the most ridiculous number of subjects attempted. You all know I'm talking about Cuong, who I think did 5 subjects in first semester and 3 or 4 in second not counting the compulsory Communication Skills subject. This might be a bit late for you now Cuong, but we hope this organiser will come in handy one day.
The next award is the project award. The receiver of this award has put in astounding efforts into NOT doing his project. Of course, Glyn is the man I'm talking about and we all wish you better luck in having another go next year. Just in case you get stressed out, we have got you this stress reliever key chain.
The next award goes to the student who got us into the most trouble. First of all, I have to give an honourable mention to Tim Bate, who would have won this award if someone found out what he did. Instead, the winner is Terry Lee for the ``photocopier incident''. Here Terry, have a photocopy card.
The next award is for the most changing facial hair. Every two weeks, this person changes their mind as to whether they want a goatee or not. Ryan, so that you can continue in your merry old indecisiveness, we have got you these disposable razors.
The next award is for the most changing hair colour. From baby pink to old lady blue, Dan has just about had every different colour in his hair. We figured he liked it so much that we would get him some Clairol Glints A shade more daring.
The next award is for the coolest hairstyle. We can only imagine how long Minh spends getting that spike perfected every morning. But to help him out in the future, we have got him a big jar of Saville strong hold hair gel.
Before I present this award, I have to mention that
this one was not my idea. Anyway,
the award for the best looking in leather goes to
Leigh Fitzgibbon who is often seen
in leather pants and/or a leather jacket. Anyway Leigh,
we decided that your
motorcycle helmet just doesn't cut it any more, and
this one would be much better.
 L.F. is Lovely in Leather |
 An award to the source of all power, Karen F' |
The next award is the honourable part time student award. Despite the fact that this student is actually enrolled in honours full time, he rarely was in class, preferring to spend his time in the comfort of his own bed. I'm talking about Tim Patterson of couse, and we give you an alarm clock so that you can make it to your engineering lectures next year.
The next award is the professional student award. The winner of this award has been at uni' for quite a long time and I'm sure she loves it so much that she will be here for a while longer. Robyn, we thought that you'd always find this snazzy pencil case handy.
The next award is the security award. The receiver of this award has been involved in many incidents ensuring that he wins this award. His first effort involved working on his project in vi, and accidentally pressing the encrypt key-combination. Since nothing was working, he started pressing random keys, not realising that he was actually supplying the encryption key. Needless to say, his work was lost and he wasn't happy. His second effort involved locking his keys in his locker. From what I have heard, these were retrieved by yanking them out through the crack under the locker door. Warren, come up and receive your award, a set of padlocks, so you can be forever locking away your keys.
Next is the Rimmer award. Rimmer is a character in Red Dwarf who spends more time preparing his exam timetable than he actually spends studying for his exam. This award goes to Lachlan, of course, for his whiteboard effort. Originally, we intended to get him some white board markers, but then we saw these Teletubbies markers and thought they were much more appropriate.
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Next is the Unix Guru award. I don't think there is a single person in honours who has not asked Andrew Snare a question about how to do something on the computers. Anyway, despite his pleas for his award to have nothing to do with Python, I have to mention that he is a Python Guru also, and therefore I present him with a rubber snake (right), which I hope actually resembles a Python. The next award is the Nacho Man award. This award goes to Paul Harrison for his extremely good effort at the Honours party a few weeks ago. Since you loved them so much, we got you this packet of Salsa flavoured corn chips. The next award is for the lowest attendance at honours bbq. This award goes to Jay Nicholson who has decided to use an overseas trip as an excuse to not turn up to this bbq. |
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The next award is for the best driver. There were a few contenders for this award. Firstly there was Zsolt, who seems to always be driving someone around. Then there was Jay, who I had fun dragging off at the light of Springvale and Ferntree Gully road. But the winner is Tim Bruton (left) who has spent many days and nights driving a little car around the honours labs. Apparently he needed some L-plates in his presentation, so better late than never.
The next award is for the most lethal person (aka the most likely to kick-box a short, bald Indian award [?!]). This award goes to Davide Filomena the karate champion. We hope that this martial arts magazine will keep you entertained.
The next award is the bbq boy award. This award goes to Aaron Wigley who responded almost instantly that he wanted to help cook this bbq [see top of page]. I present to you these bbq tongs so that you will always be prepared for any spontaneous bbqs.
The next award is for the most puzzling person. Nathan, what can I say? We are always puzzled by your questions in class, but most of all, how the hell did you work out that Australian is an anagram of Saturnalia in that big email war? Anyway, even though we probably shouldn't encourage this, here is a Puzzle treasure book.
The next award is for the most mysterious person. Now, I don't think anyone knows much about him, so we figure that Steve must have a very shady past. I'm sure you'll know what to do with this battle-axe, Steve.
The next award is the Ribena berry award. The receiver of this award is never seen without his bottle of Ribena usually of the one litre variety. He has also been known to spread his addiction onto others. Nick, you better come up and get your hit.
The next award is the pillow award. Despite the fact that the winner of this award brought a pillow in to uni every day for a number of months, this person did not do any all-nighters. Instead the pillow was brought in for his sore back, which he allegedly hurt while chasing pussy, I mean cats. Of course, this award goes to Greg Denehy, to whom I present a teddy bear to go with his pillow.
Now we have the award for the highest consumption of caffeine. Surprisingly, this person also did no all-nighters, they must have just liked the taste of their Jolt cola. Zsolt, you can come and get your supply for today.
The next award is for the highest consumption of alcohol.
The winner of this award
is well known for going to the student bar for any
reason at all, or no reason at all.
This person also set a home brew going in the honours
computer labs, but apparently
the constant 25°C was not hot enough. Of course,
I am talking about (the already
drunk) Josh C'. Unfortunately for him, I know
nothing about beer, so I got him
the best sounding one, Moosehead beer.
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And finally, for the most sought after award of all, the Most All Nighters. Throughout the year there have been a few people who have been battling for this award. Due to his workload, Cuong took the early lead, and towards the end of the year, Jay made a late charge. But I'm sure that no-one is surprised that the winner of this award is Tim Bate. He receives a tin of coffee (right) so that he can continue his effort throughout his PhD. |
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In fact the final award was to Krys D' - the geek-girl award, - presented by Josh (left). |
School of Computer Science and Software Engineering, Monash University, Australia 3168.